The Ozland Zombie Apocalypse Plan by Teri Meridian
1. Introduction
2. Principles
During an apocalypse, it is important that we treat any visiting Zombies with respect, tolerance, and courtesy. Please do your best to make them feel welcome, wanted, and comfortable. Queen Llola will send the appropriate "Please welcome our newest residents" notices as required. Do not push or shoot the Zombies as Ozland is a no pushing, no damage Sim. Such behaviour will be classified as griefing and may get you in trouble. Please do not be offended if the Zombies are somewhat slow and neglect to accept your hug requests or respond to your greeting IMs.
3. Zombie Identification
Due to the scanty and poor dressing habits of many Ozland residents, it may be difficult to identify the Zombies. Being dressed in tattered, ripped, revealing, or dirty outfits is not sufficient to identify a Zombie. Please use Viewer2/3 or Firestorm in case the Zombies are mesh but be aware that other mesh avatars exist and that this also is not a valid identification technique. Perhaps offer them some chocolate to eat. While Zombies will be ambivalent to this food item, many Ozland residents will be quite animated and can be identified due to their excitement. However, a warning is in effect as excessive chocolate tends to cause stomach/hip/butt size increases and results in resident's wearing unfastened, loose, and sloppy clothing that can be confused with zombie attire.
4. Zombie Comfort
Please ensure all Zombies are comfortable during their visit to Ozland. Contact Arwin Lane to arrange shopping trips for the Zombies infesting your parcel. Soothing music (i.e., Tenors) will be available on the Ozland music stream which you may set on your parcel to keep the Zombies calm and relaxed. Zombies do not like to teleport, so please ensure adequate walkways, bridges, paths, and other pedestrian access is available. As Zombies tend to get cold easily, winter and Christmas will be postponed if necessary. However, should you wish to be festive, you may decorate the Zombies on your parcel with colourful lights and give them little presents.
5. Zombie Avoidance
For those of you with Zombie allergies, or for when you just need a break from our guests, the art gallery will be declared a Zombie-free zone. Stories will be read 24/7 for your enjoyment while using this Zombie-free zone. Sven Pertelson will be in charge of this task, and will also arrange to install a pretty, low-prim, Anti-Zombie wall around the gallery. To prove you are not a Zombie and obtain access, the secret pass-phrase will be "Llola's panties smell pretty pleasing."
6. Feeding of Zombies
While Zombies tend to prefer eating human brains, it is acknowledged that there is a significant lack of such food stuffs within the Ozland community and that what is available is needed for other important purposes such as writing this plan. Try to find some sort of substitute if you are able. Perhaps Neko, Tiny, or Faerie brains will suffice? If you are unable to find anything tempting to our guests, consider teleporting in some of the friends you could do without. You could also invite the Zombies to go clubbing with you in hopes that they find something yummy there, but be advised that most clubs in Second Life are rarely patronized by intelligent beings. The restrictions on breedable pets will be lifted during a Zombie Apocalypse as many breedables, such as Fennux, are considerably smarter than some avatars and may also be useful for the care and feeding of Zombies.
7. Mature Status
Ozland is a mature community. Sexual activities with our Zombie guests is encouraged (we want them to be happy) but please note that it should be limited to indoor activities only. Ozland highly encourages resident safety, so please ensure sufficient "protection" is available for all who wish to participate. It is known that Zombies tend to travel in packs, so orgies will likely be common. Plan accordingly. Should any child Zombies be present, please take them to the temporary day-care facilities what will be established at Mallee Manor where stories and games will be ongoing. For those of you with D/s (Domination and Submissive) needs, it is asked that you do not attempt to "collar" any Zombies. Also, please refrain from asking them to be your Master/Mistress (if you are able to determine the Zombie's sex).
8. Conclusion
We hope this document has provided you with the necessary information for dealing with a Zombie Apocalypse, should one occur at any time in the future. Your co-operation is critical for the success of this plan and for the happiness of everyone involved, including our Zombie guests. Any comments or criticisms should be submitted, on a notecard, to Ozland Linden where they will be carefully considered and discarded.
Remember, Zombies are people too, you know!
Dated 10 July in the year 2013 under the reign of Queen Llola and King Sven
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