By Dr. T. SeussKitten
Every Munchkin in Ozland liked V-Day a lot...
But the Cat, who lurked in Ozland, Did NOT!
The Cat hated V-Day! The whole V-Day season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be her tail wasn't lined up just right.
It could be, perhaps, that her ears were too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason, you see,
May have been all the snow, surrounding her tree.
But, whatever the reason, the snow or her tail,
She stood there on V-Day Eve, waiting for mail.
Staring down from her tree-house with a sour feline frown
At the warm lighted windows below in the town.
For she knew every Munchkin in Ozland below
Was busy now, shovelling the cold Ozland snow.
"And they'll give out cards!" she snarled with a sneer,
"Tomorrow is V-Day! It's practically here!"
Then she growled, with her paws nervously drumming,
"I MUST find some way to stop V-Day from coming!"
For, tomorrow, she knew... all the Munchkins, the spry and the frail,
Would log bright and early to go check their mail!
And then! Oh, the Love!
Oh, the Love! Love! Love! Love!
That's one thing she hated!
The LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! LOVE!
Then the Munchkins would meet in the pub.
And they'd Hug! And they'd hug! And they'd HUG! HUG! HUG! HUG!
They would hug and they'd smile, and would all be so snuggly,
Which was something the cat found unbearably ugly!
And THEN they'd do something she liked least of all!
Every Munckin in Ozland, the tall and the small,
Would stand close together, with nothing amiss.
They'd come close together. And the Munchkins would kiss!
They'd kiss! And they'd kiss! And they'd KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS!
And the more the Cat thought of this hideous affection,
The more the Cat wanted to stop oral infections!
"Why, for almost five years I've put up with it now!"
"I MUST stop this V-Day from coming!
Then she got an idea!
An awful idea! THE CAT GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
"I know just what to do!" The Cat purred with a glow.
And she made a quick Cupid costume and bow.
And she chuckled, and clucked, "What a great feline trick!"
"With this silly diaper and fake prim bow,
I look just like Cupid! Nobody will know.
All I need are some wings..." The Cat looked around.
But, since wings are scarce, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the kitten...? No! The Cat simply said,
"If I can't find some wings, I'll make some instead!"
So she hacked up some prims and got out a script
And used prim2sculpt to complete the cheap trick.
THEN she loaded some bags and some old empty pails
On a ramshackle wagon she towed with her tail.
Then the Cat jumped out her window and started to fly
Down to the ground, where the cold snow did lie!
The Munchkins weren't home, they had gone to the ballroom
where Llola was streaming to prevent their boredom.
All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.
All the Munchkins were out, enjoying the dance
When she came to the first home filled with romance.
"This is stop number one," the fake Cupid hissed
And she TP'd inside, empty bags in her fist.
She got stuck in the wall, in a place most un-nice,
but not quite as bad as the snow and the ice.
A few quick clicks, and another fast poof,
She found herself safe under their roof,
Where a line of V-cards were rezzed in a row.
"These cards," she grinned, "are the first things to go!"
Then she slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,
Around the whole room, and she took every present!
Love notes and pose balls, kiss scripts, and sculpties,
Prim lingerie, sex beds, cuddle rugs, and plushies.
And she stuffed them in boxes, rezzed just for the task,
which the Cat quickly moved straight to her trash!
Then she slunk to the icebox. she took the day's feast!
She took their roast lemming! She took their beer yeast!
She cleaned up the region until it was bare,
Leaving nothing but cheap Linden noob hair.
Then she stopped and she scratched because of an itch.
"And NOW!" grinned the Cat, "I will spread griefing scripts!"
So she sat down to rezz things vile and foul
When she heard a small sound a bit like an owl.
She turned around fast, her Cat heart stopping,
For Arwin had come home from her shopping.
The Cat had been caught by this sweet avatar
Who'd wanted to unpack a new V-day card.
She stared at the Cat and said, "Cupid Cat, why,
"Why are you taking our V-Day cards? WHY?"
But, you know, that old Cat was so smart and so slick
She thought up a lie, and she thought it up quick!
"Why, my dear sweet friend (who needed placating)
There's a script in the card that needs some updating.
So I'm taking it up to my sandbox, my dear.
I'll fix it up there. Then I'll bring it back here."
And her fib fooled the Sherriff. Then she patted her head
And she gave her a hug and she sent her to bed.
And when sweet Arwin Lane had logged off you see,
That kitten retextured her skybox with glee.
Then the last thing she broke was the script for their fire!
Then she smiled most vilely the old feline liar.
On their walls she left nothing but textures of wire.
And the one speck of love
That she left in the house
Was a pose ball too small for even a mouse.
Then she did the same thing
To the other Oz houses
Leaving pose balls too small
For their sculptie mouses!
It was quarter past dawn... all the Munchkins, still dancing,
As she packed up her wagon, her cat tail prancing.
Packed it up with their presents! The cards! The anims!
The scripts! The textures! The things made of prims!
Oh the black viewer she had used with such glee,
Had ignored all permissions she saw happily.
Ozland was ruined, it was a mess,
Everything broken, except the Cat's dress.
She flew with her load of stolen things fast,
For so much she'd done she thought she might crash.
"Pooh-Pooh to the Munchkins!" she was Cat-ish-ly humming.
They're finding out now that no V-Day is coming!
They're just heading home! I know just what they'll do!"
Their mouths will hang open a minute you see,
Then they will call Llola to fix it for free.
That's whining, mused the Cat, That I simply MUST hear!
So she paused. And the Cat put her paw to her ear.
And she did hear a sound rising over the snow.
It started in low. Then it started to grow...
But the sound wasn't mad!
Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn't be so! But it WAS merry! VERY!
She stared down at Ozland!
The Cat popped her eyes!
Then she shook! What she saw was a shocking surprise!
Every Munchkin down in Ozland, the tall and the small,
Were hugging and kissing! Without AOs at all!
She HADN'T stopped V-Day from coming!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!
And the Cat, with her paws ice-cold from the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?"
It came without sex beds! It came without hugs!
It came without kisses, cards and pose rugs!"
And she puzzled three hours, till her puzzler was sore.
Then the Cat thought of something she hadn't before!
"Maybe V-Day," she thought, "isn't about mittens.
Maybe V-Day... perhaps... is also for kittens."
And what happened then...?
Well, in Ozland they say
That Good Queen Llola
melted the snow that day!
And the minute her paws didn't feel quite so cold,
She flew with her load through happy green regions
And she brought everything back to complete the season.
The Cat danced at the pub!
And twice that day, she kissed her sweet Trybil,
For the Cat really wasn't that evil.